I ran into friend and model Kassandra Johnson at Sephora of all places over Christmas break. She moved away a few years ago so I haven't seen her in a while but it reminded me of a project we did back in the summer on 2015. I never wrote a blog about it because I didn't even have a website at the time, let alone a blog. That said, this was the first passion project I put together. I was in a mood that summer and wanted to pay tribute to one of my favorite bands.

Nirvana was the first band that made me interested in music that I felt any kind of connection to. I knew I wanted the photos to have a certain look so I reached out to my good friend and photographer Rebecca Rose. Lucky for me she was into the idea so we started planning. We looked through a lot of different reference photos for ideas and settings. We quickly came to the conclusion that these would all need to be separate photo shoots. Doing it all in one day with the different settings and different models would just be to much not to mention a scheduling nightmare. We wanted to take our time so over the summer we made the Nirvana Project

I am big on authenticity which you will see more of especially when it comes to Heart Shaped Box. For Lithium Though I knew I wanted a real straight jacket. Luckily I had a friend that knew a magician named Tricky Ricky that did an escape routine with a real straight jacket that he somehow procured from a mental institution. knowing that we were going to be covering her figure with the jacket I picked a model with great legs. Alicia Carper who I had not met before was cast for this shoot. Alicia was such a trooper letting our hair stylist Pamela Ann cut her bangs in a very choppy and frantic fashion. Alicia also has great lips and eye which is funny because given the subject matter we smeared her lipstick and gave her a pair of sunglasses that Kurt Cobain was famous for wearing. At her feet are pill capsules filled with gold glitter with one side painted black. I knew given how we were shooting the images that the pills would not show up but I knew they were there.

Lithium:

I'm so happy because today
I've found my friends
They're in my head
I'm so ugly, but that's okay, 'cause so are you
We've broken our mirrors
Sunday morning is everyday for all I care
And I'm not scared
Light my candles in a daze
'Cause I've found god
Hey, hey, hey

I'm so lonely but that's okay I shaved my head
And I'm not sad
And just maybe I'm to blame for all I've heard
But I'm not sure
I'm so excited, I can't wait to meet you there
But I don't care
I'm so horny but that's okay
My will is good
Hey, hey, hey

I like it, I'm not gonna crack
I miss you, I'm not gonna crack
I love you, I'm not gonna crack
I killed you, I'm not gonna crack

I'm…

I'm so happy 'cause today
I've found my friends,
They're in my head
I'm so ugly, that's okay, 'cause so are you,
Broke our mirrors
Sunday morning is everyday for all I care,
And I'm not scared
Light my candles in a daze
'Cause I've found god

Yeah, yeah,
Yeah, yeah,
Yeah, yeah,
Yeah, yeah,
Yeah, yeah,
Yeah, yeah, yeah

I like it, I'm not gonna crack
I miss you, I'm not gonna crack
I love you, I'm not gonna crack
I killed you, I'm not gonna crack

Pamela Ann and I putting the finishing touches on Alicia as Rebecca looks on.

For “Pennyroyal Tea” we actually had to reshoot it which worked out better. To Rebecca's credit she wasn't happy with the lighting so we decided to reshoot it. In the original shoot the model was sitting which made sense per the song lyrics but visually with the other images we decided it would be better to have her standing. Alexxandria Richter was our model and she agreed to come back in for the reshoot. In the song he talks about anemia so I gave Alexx a nasty bruise on her leg. Tea generally has steam so I wanted it to have a surreal look to it so we used dry ice so the "steam" would flow down instead of up. given the anemia I used fake blood instead of tea knowing it would show up on the tea bag. With the way the dry ice bubbled it splattered blood specks all over her hand and arm creating a really cool effect. I gave her a very dark smoky eye and dark burgundy lip with some hard contour to give her a darker look. We even used my great grandmother’s antique tea set.

Pennyroyal Tea:

I'm on my time with everyone
I have very bad posture

Sit and drink Pennyroyal Tea
Distill the life that's inside of me
Sit and drink Pennyroyal Tea
I'm anemic royalty

Give me a Leonard Cohen afterworld
So I can sigh eternally
I'm so tired I can't sleep
I'm a liar and a thief

Sit and drink Pennyroyal Tea
I'm anemic royalty

I'm on…

I'm on warm milk and laxatives
Cherry-flavored antacids

Sit and drink Pennyroyal Tea
Distill the life that's inside of me
Sit and drink Pennyroyal Tea
I'm anemic royalty

Heart Shaped Box was the first image we imagined and shot. The lyrics are strange and all over the place so I picked and chose what I wanted and what I felt would portray the song. Since it was no where near Valentine's Day we couldn't find a heart shaped box anywhere. Rebecca actually made the heart shaped box for the shoot. I bought a bunch of night crawlers to fill the box with to represent the worms eating away at decay after death. Kassandra did great with the worms and we found out that they would ball up on themselves so she kept having to mix the worms up to cover the bottom of the box. I gave her a really clean beauty look using a lot of golds so that the black "cancer" crawling up her arm would appear that much more sinister. Kassandra agreed to go full nude to display the vulnerability we need for the look. After the shoot we released the earth worms into Rebecca’s garden

Heart-Shaped Box:

She eyes me like a Pisces when I am weak
I've been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks
I've been drawn into your magnetar pit trap trap
I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black

Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice, your advice

Meat-eating orchids forgive no one just yet
Cut myself on angel hair and baby's breath
Broken hymen of your Highness, I'm left back
Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back

Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in…

Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice, your advice

She eyes me like a Pisces when I am weak
I've been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks
I've been drawn into your magnetar pit trap trap
I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black

Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice, your advice, your advice, your advice

Kassandra, Myself and Rebecca filling pretty good after the first shoot of the project.

It is really interesting to revisit old shoots but this one holds a special place in my heart. It was amazing getting to colobarte so much with Rebecca which made us become very close friends and understand each other better. This is now over three years ago so of course I look back and see things I would do differently now. These photos are a moment in time though, like the music they are based on, like the things I was feeling and the colabortion of the summer on 2015 and I am still proud of them.

The Nirvana Project

Search Posts

Featured Posts